I Said WHAT?

I started Spanish lessons this week, and I’m attending a wonderful school called Amigos del Sol I have a tutor since I need flexible hour.

NOTE: if you come hear to learn Spanish I highly recommend Amigos del Sol. They are willing to be flexible and I was referred to them by both my uncle and my friend Dolly. That's two people--and I think any references are rare in any profession.

First, let me say that my teacher, Celso, is ADORABLE. Or as we say en Espanol: Es sensual. (he’s a hottie) So, a nice bonus. I get to learn Spanish AND the tutor is cute. He’s also about twenty years younger than me but I can look because I am NOT DEAD.

But as usual, I digress...

So, last night, we are talking in Spanish about movies. Well, he’s talking and I’m trying to talk. Want to make your tutor laugh? Have this conversation:

ME: (I am trying to say I want to see Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.)What comes out of my mouth is: Quiero comer Jonny Depp en los piratas del Caribe

CELSO: “You want to WHAT?”

Because what I said does NOT mean I want to see Johnny Depp. It means: I want to EAT Johnny Depp.

Once I realized what I said, I blushed bright red, but then I said, “Si, Quiero comer Johnny Depp.” (Yes, I want to eat Johnny Depp)

I thought Celso was going to fall out of his chair.

Next week: more verbs! Maybe I can learn how to do other things to Johnny Depp....

My Oaxaca—City under siege? NOT!

Slideshow of Oaxaca

I’ve been reading the US newspapers in regards to Oaxaca and while some of their reporting is accurate, I have to say that I consider most of it either overblown or just wrong.

I was at the zocolo (square) this weekend and today and I saw no one with sticks or rocks. I was never threatened and have never been asked for my identification. I was here at the height of the protests and only once was I worried, and that was when I ended up on the wrong side of the barricade and people did have sticks and machetes.

Of course, they’d been tear-gassed and burned out of their tents just a few days earlier so who can blame them. It was also over a month ago and things have calmed down considerably.

But even then, their anger was never directed at tourists, and while I was nervous since mob mentalities can overwhelm common sense, I was safe then and I am safe now.

And figure I am a single, American woman wondering around by herself EVERY FREAKING DAY.

So, what I did today was take pictures of the zocolo--to show you MY Oaxaca. It's not too crowed as it was a weekday but there were stills some tourists. Not as many as there should be—that much is true.

The cancellation of the Guelaguetza has definitely hurt, but otherwise, it is business as usual and the indigenous are selling their wares in the zocolo and tourists are trying to strike a bargain.

There are also still teachers present, but not as many and not as vocal as far as I can tell.

On a side note: I was visiting Basilica de la Soledad (the Solitude) today because I 1) really like the architecture of churches and 2) they sell the BEST sherbet in the small courtyard. In the big stone courtyard, I was lucky enough to catch some dancers (Aztec I think). The costumes were impressive but what I took away was that when I asked to take their pictures, they were very gracious--like most of the people in Oaxaca.

I think that’s what irks me most about the American newspapers. They paint Oaxaca to be a city under siege with a everyone running around fearing for their lives.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

Mitla

Mitla Pictures

Today was another expedition day! THANK GOD—as I was going stir crazy. Note to self: Self—never go over a week without going someplace.

So, this morning I hopped a bus to Mitla.

A side note on the combination of roads and buses in Oaxaca. If you sit in the back, it will not matter if your bra is made of iron or if your 'too petite' to need a bra—you will be jiggled to death. I know I was. And the guy next to me got a free show …perv!

Anyway, thirty minutes later, I arrived in Mitla. I have to confess that is a bit of a tourist town. But, the ruins merit that. They aren’t as big as Monte Alban and more crowded than Yagul, but the friezes are amazing. Plus, there are tombs and you all know how I adore tombs!

What’s a frieze you ask? According to Websters.com: A decorative horizontal band, as along the upper part of a wall in a room.

And Mitla has friezes aplenty, and you do not see the same two side-by-side. Just they sheer volume and variation is mind-boggling. Now, throw in the fact they did NOT have metal tools or the wheel (so no grind stone) and you’ll be stunned!

I know I was (like a monkey).

Universal Truths

It has been a slow week in Oaxaca for me since I’ve been glued to my keyboard and trying to write. However, yesterday, I HAD to get out! So down to the zocolo for beer and quesadilla.

SIDENOTE: A few things about beer in Oaxaca. First, it's cheaper than water. Literally. And if you order beer, order it suero. That mean in a salt-rimmed glass with ice and about an inch of line juice in the bottom. Tastes great PLUS you feel like you’re getting vitamins while you get plastered off cheap beer.

Not that I get plastered here. Hey---I WALK everywhere and no one wants to see a drunk American girl weaving down the sidewalk.

Anyway, during my little afternoon jaunt, I encountered certain ‘universal truths’ (other than no one wants to see a drunk American girl weaving down the sidewalk)

1) If you don’t understand another language—the person talking to you WILL talk louder and more adamantly. Yes, its true. Not just something to laugh at in a Jackie Chan movie.

I was browsing in a shop and the shopkeeper started talking to me in Spanish (I get that a lot). I said that I do not speak Spanish, but that didn’t stop her. Nope. Just got LOUDER and more firm her what she was saying. It’s as if these people, by sheer will, will MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND.

I simply left.

2) If there is a family of four walking towards you, they INSIST on walking next to each other instead of in a line. Thereby, taking up the entire sidewalk. If you don’t move, they shoot you dirty looks and if you jump into the gutter that is flooded due to the BUCKETS OF RAIN we had yesterday—they simply see it as their ‘right’ to be sidewalk hogs.

3) A single woman, eating alone, is source of interest. From single men mostly, or men who act single, or men who’s wives don’t understand them...blah blah blah. Fuckwits... The upside? FREE LUNCH!

4) People with cell phones think their conversations are so interesting that they simply MUST share it with the rest of the room. Yes, even down here. People (I hate to say it but mainly Americans) yammer away, loudly, as if their lives are fascinating. I do NOT want to know the details of the ass boil you got lanced or the girl you knocked up. Ewwww. Private lives are just that—PRIVATE.

Now, let me tell you about...

More Screaming...Yes, I said MORE SCREAMING

I was talking on the phone with Marcos the other day, discussing the fact his computer was totally messed up (actually, I was trying to fix it from what, 2000 miles away, but didn't succeed), and what comes running at me from the other side of the room? A MOUSE.

Just an FYI—the cartoons have it right. My first reaction was to shriek and jump up in the chair.

The mouse fled. I probably scared the bejeezus out of it. I'm sure it went back to all the other mice and told them about this crazy lady in the purple house (yes, my house is purple. Did I ever mention that?)

Anyway, Marcos thought I was being knifed. I was that loud. I am not kidding--when I scream...I SCREAM.

I just don’t like mice. They skitter. I can’t take skittering,

Now, I have to kill the little beast. This is where I need a boyfriend. Some brave guy to come in and clear the house of little beasties that make me scream and jump into chairs.

Men. Where are they when you need them!

Oaxacan Drivers--Crazy As Snakes!

First, let me say that I did not coin the phrase "Crazy as Snakes”. I heard that from The Gunrunner (for those who are NOT keeping up, that’s the guy in New Hampshire. New Hampshire Guy was not a good name and way too long to type. The Gunrunner is much hotter. Again, I digress...)

So yes, drivers in Oaxaca are crazy as snakes. Why, you ask?

1)The fact that they pass each other around curves on mountain roads, in thick traffic, with cars coming at them.... Hell, anywhere. The roads here are not two lanes. They are 1.5 lanes. Weird, but that’s how it works. It's also amazingly frightening.

2) I walked to the store yesterday and there was someone DRIVING on the sidewalk. Yes, driving. Not parked (although I see a lot of that as well). Nope, just cruising down the sidewalk towards me!

3) Parking in the middle of traffic. I’ve seen it twice now. At a HUGE intersection, a guy had parked his car so he could give some stuff to another guy to sell. My bus was behind it and the buso drive actually got out—you never see that. No fight but it was close. Also,if they are ordering take-out from a restaurant. They’ll simply put on their blinkers and stop. Saw that too.

4) I’ve seen many an intersection where no one stops (not even to park in the middle). It’s like some huge metal ballet with cars weaving in and out as they try to get through. I shut my eye and wait for the crunch,

5) Not a crazy thing...just a tip and an FYI: Pedestrians do NOT have the “Right of Way" here. Cars will hit you and then the driver will keep going since the person probably doesn’t have car insurance and will go to jail. (Insurance is around 1000 a year and for people who average 500 a month, that’s a chunk of change). My advice? Cross in the middle of the road unless you're in the city. Yo udon't wnat to take a chance on them running the stoplight and hitting you. Big city--they do tend to stop at lights, but do watch yourself!

6) I’ve been told that many people do not drive at night with their headlights on due to the inaccurate notion that they think it will drain the battery. Haven’t seen it yet, but afte seeing this insanity, I believe it.

I am sure there will be more incidents and observations. Probably enough for an entire blog. Right now, I have to walk to the store.

Wish me luck!

Every Fifth Word

Yesterday was not a great day. I ran out of propane for the house (which means no stove and no hot water) and I was sick. I have no idea what I ate to make my tummy rumble, but I felt lousy. Today is better. Propane is here and stomach is settling.

And I have Terri to take care of me!

Terri is the owner of the house I am renting. She doesn’t speak English and I speak little Spanish but I do understand a little more than I can say. I get about every fifth word she says—which makes for some interesting conversation. She talks. I listen then smile and nod. Sometimes, I have no idea what I am agreeing to or acknowledging but so far, it seems to be working.

Miming helps.

Anyway, she found out I was sick and came over to take care of me. She made me tamales (not too picante) and mint tea. I have to say, that the tea is helping. I know mint is a natural stomach soother but totally forget there was some in the garden.

Trust Terri to remember.

Just an example of how a bad day can be turned around by one very nice person.

Yagul--Naked table dance or lunch...you decide

Yagul-View the Slide Show


Yagul. A lovely archaeological site just outside of Tlacolula, the name means ‘Old Stick’ pr ‘Old Tree’ and is one of the nicer sites to visit in that 1) it is a large site with palaces, temples, and if you want to hike upwards—very impressive fortifications and 2) for some reason, no one knows about it so you can have the place all to yourself.

Of course I had to go! I hopped a bus about 8:30 am and had them drop me off (no busses go there). From the drop off, it’s a 2 Km hike—not to bad. On the way in, two men (quite the young hotties and very buff from working on the farm) shouted at me, saying God-knows-what, but I ignored them. After all, I was on a mission and Yagul was waiting.

The site did NOT disappoint. When I arrived at Yagul, I had the entire place to myself! I mean there was NO ONE. Just three people who take money and this dog that ran all over the tops of the walls, hopping from one to another. I have to say, I was impressed with its four-legged dexterity.

So, I wondered around and since there was nothing that said “Don’t go here” I climbed down into the tombs. Sadly and expectedly, they were empty. Still, I had to stick my head inside.

Have you ever been inside a tomb? It’s damp and cool and smells like musty earth.
I love it. So I felt compelled to crawl inside the principle tomb at Patio 4. No, I didn't break any laws...it's set up that way as long as you don't mid getting dirty. Yes, I did lay there to see what it felt like and no, I did not visualize myself as dead. (Get those creepy thoughts out of your head!)

Finally, I walked up to the fortress to see the odd, carved bathtub. Who knows what it really is, but that’s sure what it looked like. And below it is nothing but cliffs. Good luck to the invaders that tried to scale that!

By this time, people were arriving (bastards!!), so I planted myself on a rock and spent about an hour or so, just enjoying the view of the site and wondering if once, when the site was occupied, was there a girl sitting in the same spot, watching the people below.

Finally, I hoofed it back to the highway and passed the same two hotties. Only this time, they invited me to lunch! I think. They were eating...motioning me to come over...and I said no. I wanted to, but I don’t know these men. And for all I know, they weren’t asking me to have lunch, they were asking me to dance naked on the table.

You decide...

The Screams...Oh My God...The SCREAMS

Two creatures I found in my house tonight:
1) Scorpion
2) Two roaches as big as my pinky

Thus ended the screaming portion of my evening

Monte Alban and staring like a stunned monkey

Monte Alban-View the Slide Show


Monte Alban. The name conjures up a city in the sky. Bloody sacrifices. A time lost. As for actually being there…there are no words for the feeling you get when standing in an archaeological site of this magnitude. Breathtaking? Awe-inspiring?



Mere trifles when compared to the overwhelming sense of time that rushes over you. For a moment, I wanted to cry. (for those of you who do not know me—I was an archaeologist for a number of years)

I told the New Hampshire guy (the one who says he want to bring me there for a few days but so far nothing, but I digress...) that I was stunned and he came up with the phrase. "Like a stunned monkey"

And that's fairly accurate. For a few minutes, I just stood there like a stunned monkey.

And then I got to walking. And being me, I had to go the opposite way of the group. I am sure they are lovely people, but when walking through Monte Alban, it is best done is silence, or it is for me, and not with a bunch of strangers.

So, I took the long way around, went by the lovely Abode and then finally up the stairs, coming into the Main plaza through the back side of the North Platform.

Again, I wanted to cry. I know...SUCH A BABY! But it’s MONTE ALBAN! GEEEEZ.

From there, it was a slow walk through the park, taking my time, soaking up history. Most of the platforms are roped off, but the South One is climbable. And I do mean climbing. It’s a very tall platform and the stairs are approximately 16 inches high. You will work your gluteus maximus on the way up. I was hurting and the thinner air did not help!

But it’s well worth the pain. From the South Platform you can see most of the complex and the valleys. I sat there for about two hours and just pictured what it must have been like at one time. Vendors? Children? Ceremonies?

And as I always seem to do, I met other writer’s. Two lovely women, Sabine and Greta, who came from a retreat and would soon be leaving, (Ladies, if you want any of the pictures, send me an email.)

Finally, it was time to make my way back to the main gate, but I never travel in a straight line and detoured through the North Platform and around the Ballcourt and finally ending up on the bus (I’ll talk about driving in Mexico in another blog)

I hated to leave. Loathed to go. There is still so much to explore! I didn’t even see Tomb104!

Guess I’ll have to go back.

Weirdness in Oaxaca

Okay. Maybe not weird. Some are just things I’ve never seen before and found interesting but I needed a catchy title.

Bugs: Most warm areas have huge bugs. Florida has palmetto’s (giant flying roaches) for example. Here we have beetles as big as my freaking fist. Tonight, I was innocently working when I hear the huge clatter at the window. I about jumped out of my skin as I thought it was a person banging on the glass (it was that loud). Nope. One of those damned giant beetles trying to get through the glass. Given time, it could probably do it...it was that HUGE.

Poor mans barbed wire. Most of the homes here are compounds—meaning that they are surrounded by high, brick walls. An industrious thief can climb. So people put cement on the top of the wall and imbed broken bottles and giant chards of glass into it.

Nice.

Poor man’s barbed wire. Part two: See above but instead of glass they plant bougainvillea around the wall. A lovely vine that grows like a weed, its covered with huge thorns. Going through bougainvillea is like going a tangle of razor wire. Good luck to the idiots who try to get through. You deserve to end up in the emergency room.

Dogs on roofs. What is that all about? Really? They scare the crap out of you because unless you’ve been by the place, you do not expect to see a DOG ON A ROOF.

Volkswagens. Not weird, but I wanted to point out they are everywhere since Volkswagen was one of the first car companies here. Do not play “Slug Bug’ while in Mexico or someone will wind up crippled.